When addiction invades a marriage, it affects and infects every part of the family and its dynamics.
There was a time that nothing mattered to Eric Kennedy, except for the next high or drug-induced escape, even as a young boy. Eventually, he only drank to get drunk and pass out. Perhaps, drugs would then be added to the mix. There were sporadic moments of clarity…. but only very brief moments. Eric’s life is in a very different place now.
Almost ten years ago, Eric and his new bride (his second marriage) were on a plane to Hawaii for their honeymoon. They were unable to sit together, so Eric used the six-hour flight to write in detail what the “Old Eric” life had been like. He wrote out specific recollections during the entire flight and then saved the notes on his phone.
Because of God’s intervention and grace in his life, Eric is currently on staff at Stevens Creek Church in Augusta. He’s responsible for the facilities and maintenance of their properties. During the church’s August 2023 focus on “Twenty-One Days of Prayer,” Eric asked God to give him something big to focus on. The word that impressed him was “Legacy.”
He then decided he wanted to create something that could impact the church beyond his tenure there. Stevens Creek had been using a book written in the 1970’s for their recovery groups. Eric prayed, consulted friends who know the publishing world, and was encouraged to create a workbook for couples battling addiction that provided practical direction, questions, and encouragement to use as a tool in their journey forward together. Now, it became clear how the notes written nine years ago on his flight to Hawaii were to be used!
As a first-time author, Eric, and many in his circle of friends were excited and encouraging. Eric found himself with a multitude of questions focused on “What do I do next?”
The new resource, I Do…Recovery is opening doors for Eric and his workbook. It has just been introduced to 4,000 participants at an XO Marriage conference in Dallas where Eric was on a panel discussion. He has also been invited to speak at the “Elevate” Church of God’s annual meeting this June.
Eric says, “I don’t think about the platform when I think about this book. I think about the married couple that’s going to be healed from this. I think about the couple that may not be married yet and it’s going to be like, hopefully in forty years, they’re going through a workbook and they say, I wonder where that guy is that wrote that book? It’s not about a platform, it’s about a tool. God has breathed on this tool, and I’m just so thankful for that.”
I Do…Recovery doesn’t only address drug and alcohol addictions, it includes sections focused on sexual addictions, gaming addictions, and others. Eric says the workbook, “It explains the different levels of addictions, the different types of addictions, but the principles are still the same. It includes individual reflection questions and couples’ discussion questions.” The goal he says is for the couple to walk through the process together.
In talking about Eric’s second marriage, he tears up a bit. “She (Kristen) has been exactly what I needed. I needed a healthy marriage that understood that I was faithful to God, faithful to my recovery, and faithful to her.” They will celebrate their tenth anniversary in May.
Eric acknowledges the past damage he’s done in relationships with the people who mean the most to him. In terms of healing those relationships, he says, “It all comes with time. I had to earn back the trust of my parents and family and people that I had hurt, and that comes with time. T– Things I -I M- Must E- Earn. So, I had to earn that from Kristen. I had to show her that I wasn’t that other person and that I wasn’t defined by my past. We are this unit together and we have a whole brand-new life.”
Eric also recalled borrowing forty dollars years ago and telling the man who gave it to him that it was to pay his power bill. In truth, it was to buy dope. Eric says if he ever makes connections with him again, he’s going to tell him the truth and repay him.
Eric’s life began to be transformed when he accepted an invitation to attend Stevens Creek. All though he was quite skeptical, he found his way to seat C3 in the church’s auditorium. “I cried the first three weeks I was here. He called his friend, Dave with a question, “What do I do?” His response was, you’ve gotta get baptized. I had never been baptized before, but I went through the waters of baptism.” He began serving at the church when church leaders saw his faith and commitment and offered him a position on staff. That was ten years ago.
“We talk about a power greater than ourselves? You know in the very, very beginning, I didn’t have a relationship with Jesus. I didn’t know what my higher power was. I just knew there was a higher power. Because I was so confused and so ignorant, I’m like, OK, I don’t have time to really get to know this Jesus, and do recovery, and keep the kids fed and clean, and keep a car running, and live in this apartment, and try to have a relationship with the boys’ mom. But if I would have just given it to Jesus, I could have done all that. I finally did, and it’s been the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
Eric emphasizes addictions often repeat generational patterns. He is choosing to be a generational breaker. “When you set the tone for how your kids are poured into, and how their kids are going to be poured into, and how their kids are going to be poured into, and it’s different than was for how you were poured into and your parents were poured into, it’s huge! Marriage, family, God first.”
For more details on the I Do…Recovery workbook (soon to be released) and other helpful resources, visit XOmarriage.com
You can email Eric: eric@stevenscreekchurch.com
