Publisher’s Note: The following is an excerpt from the book, “Culture Garden,” recently written by Sarah Harris, a West Augusta therapist who also works with many CSRA companies. Her next management workshop is on September 9th. The information is in the excerpt below from pages 41-42.
There is a concept in anger management skills training that is referred to as the iceberg effect. The idea is that we understand that only a small portion of an iceberg breaks the surface of the water, and that the majority of the iceberg is below the surface. In anger management skills training, we teach that the area above the water’s surface represents anger. However, the area below the surface represents all of the more vulnerable emotions. These may include shame, guilt, abandonment, insecurity, isolation, sadness, elation, fear, and many others.
The premise of these more vulnerable emotions is that we are anxious about being judged by others for these emotions. You may wonder why elation was on the list, as it is often considered a more desirable emotion. However, if we feel elation about an idea and others are not excited or even worse, they are dismissive, the level of hurt and pain is tremendous. Returning to the anger above the water, that represents the emotion that we will often show to others. Anger has a lot of energy to it and often feels protective. Anger pushes others away and is effective in reducing the risk of others seeing below the surface. This concept, outlined by the iceberg effect, is critical in supporting the importance of constructive conflict resolution.
In supporting employees through conflict resolution, it is important to listen to the under the surface of the water information. Most adults can accept and understand that others will disagree with them or not follow their recommendations. However, if one of those under the surface of the water emotions is triggered, the protective anger emotion may emerge. As a leader developing a healthy workplace culture, it is important to demonstrate that the under the surface emotions are valued.
Publisher’s Note: A copy of the book will be provided free of charge to each person who attends the Workshop, “Foundations of a Healthy Workplace Culture.” HERE is the link for more information on the September 9th event.
