The turn of the new year brings, to paraphrase Moira Rose, Hollywood’s favorite season: awards. Starting this very weekend, banquets, broadcasts, and industry functions will take place again and again, serving as a countdown clock to some before the biggest of all the hootenannies, the Oscars, on March 10.
I need not remind the reader that this will start to get confusing, as there are a lot of award shows. Too many to count. Some of them are legitimate and meaningful representatives of a constantly moving industry, but there are some downright hilarious awards that only inflate the calendar and leave audiences confused.
In the span of just a few short months: there will be the “big ones”: the Golden Globes (Jan 7), the Critic’s Choice Awards (Jan 14), the BAFTAs (Feb 18), the SAG Awards (Feb 24), and then the Oscars (Mar 10). All will be televised. Scattered throughout the calendar are other, untelevised, ceremonies from industry organizations: the Producer’s Guild, Writer’s Guild, Director’s Guild, Editor’s Guild, and Cinematographer’s Guild will all honor the best in their respective unions.
Oh, and due to the industry strikes of 2023, the Primetime Emmy Awards (honoring achievements in television) have been pushed from last September to Martin Luther King Jr. Day: Monday, January 15th, which happens to be the same day as the Iowa Caucuses. What could go wrong?!
Then, there’s the Academy’s Governor’s Awards, the only ceremony where no one has to sit in angst because the winners are pre-selected honorees. This ceremony is the Academy’s Awards for Lifetime Achievement and Philanthropic Efforts. It is untelevised (though recorded for YouTube) and usually rewards only 3 or 4 people. This year, the honorees will include filmmaker, Mel Brooks and acting legend, Angela Bassett. This we don’t get to see live?!
Outside of this expensive slice of the year, the industry is padded with other knick-knacks, such as the MTV Movie Awards, with such nail-biters as “Best Kiss” and “Best Onscreen Duo.” My personal favorite is the AARP Movies for Grownups Awards, a ceremony I first heard about in a bit from Nathan Lane on Stephen Colbert years ago, and only recently found out that it is, in fact, a real award and not a joke. There’s the Pornhub Awards, which are never fun to watch. Finally, there’s the People’s Choice Awards, which includes the dubious honor of “People’s Icon,” won last year by Ryan Reynolds. Yes, when I think of icons among people, I don’t think of voting rights organizers or charitable founders; I naturally think of the guy who plays Deadpool.
What does it all mean? Is it worth the time or space on the page to ramble about self-congratulation and the diminishing of the arts and sciences of media? It’s the entertainment industry, I defy you to name me one figure who would pass up a free dinner, tailoring, and a chance to give an inspiring speech.
Should I just make my own award? The Dylan James Movies for the Bloated & Slightly Hard of Hearing Award (we’ll call it the Dillys)?
Nonetheless, there will be a lot of silly awards given out over the next few months. Oscar is still the coveted jewel, but these other shows will hit all the guilty pleasure marks for lovers of the ‘biz like me. Helen Mirren once likened awards to gold stars, and who doesn’t appreciate a gold star? For participants in the industry, this is show-and-tell. For the rest of us, it’s schmooze-o’clock somewhere. I can’t wait to hear Cillian Murphy thank his agent thirteen times in a row, because awards season is just like a big movie: an abstract idea of show business featuring pretty colors and crocodile tears.
Hooray for Hollywood!
Dylan James graduated from the Savannah College of Art & Design with a BFA in Dramatic Writing. He has studied both the ‘show’ and ‘business’ aspects of show business since childhood, and writes through sociological analysis, seeking relevance in the art and commerce for the moment.
