ConceptHR Corner: The Necessity and Advantages of Employee Confrontation

Confronting employees is one of the hardest things managers are required to do, and generally, most of us will do almost everything to avoid it. I remember one of the most valuable lessons I learned in a leadership class at the beginning of my career in human resource management was, “The fairest thing you can do for an employee who is not meeting expectations or whose conduct is inappropriate or unacceptable is to let them see the train coming.” In other words, let them know there’s an issue sooner than later and give them a chance to change.

I recall the first time I had to confront an employee. It was shortly after being promoted to human resource employment manager when I was given the responsibility of serving as the interim HR director. One morning, the CEO asked me to confront and counsel another manager who was much higher up on the totem pole than me. Honestly, that was something I believed he should have done, and I was terrified. I didn’t believe I was ready or had enough experience, and I nervously tried to beg out of the task. However, my attempt to wiggle out of it failed and I was ultimately convinced by the CEO to “pull up my bootstraps, take the elevator upstairs, and just do it! He said, “It will be fine!”

And that was one of the scariest moments in my career. I was afraid the more experienced manager would think “Who does this inexperienced woman think she is?” I feared he would lash out at me! I dreaded everything about it, broke out in a cold sweat, and worked myself up into a frenzy. Then, I remembered what I had learned about the fairness of making the employee aware, and how this would give him an opportunity to make it right. I knew I had to find the courage to do it.

I realized it could be possible he may not have realized anything was wrong with his performance, and allowing his performance to decline without addressing it was wrong. I tried to see it as more of an act of kindness, rather than a dreaded responsibility.

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While it’s never easy to give or receive constructive criticism, ignoring the problems only makes them worse. Confronting the issues early and giving clear feedback about what is wrong and what is expected will let the employee know you care, and it will foster success and growth for the employee as well as the business.

Recommendations for a successful experience:

• Be prepared and overcome your nerves
• Choose a private and neutral area to talk
• Maintain a calm and respectful tone
• Keep body language open and non-defensive
• Focus on the issues
• Be clear about expectations
• Be empathetic
• Encourage positive behavior
• Offer suggestions that will resolve the issues
• Set a good example
• Thank the employee for their attention and cooperation
• Check-in early and often to monitor their progress