Growing up with three siblings who were remarkably close in age, I found myself too often succumbing to criticism from my sisters and brother. We grew up with tons of interaction and time together. My self-constructed air of superiority was visible because, at one point, my mom called me on it. She pulled me aside, looked me in the eyes, and said “Remember, you’re not Father Superior.”
I wasn’t really surprised being ‘called out” in this way because internally, I knew I didn’t always focus on my family’s best attributes. My bad habit needed direct intervention from my mom.
As time has passed and I have served in multiple roles in the workplace, I have too often seen criticism on display. Odds are you have noticed and participated in this toxic activity at work.
Unfortunately, criticism is a communicable disease. It takes almost zero effort to find something to criticize. However, do not think that your internal criticism doesn’t impact others. Unfortunately, it finds ways to ooze outward and infect those around you.
Please understand that my goal is not to point fingers. I want to help us acknowledge the issue and deal with being overly critical. I hope you find these thoughts helpful:
Start by realizing NONE of us are perfect. In fact, we all fall short of perfection. Numbers 12:11 says it this way “We have done foolishly and have sinned.” The famous passage in Romans 3:23 reminds us that “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Clearly, perfection is not an option for us to aspire to.
A critical attitude and words are toxic to others. Whether you’re working from home or interacting at the office, this is true. We are not created to be put down verbally or have our actions constantly belittled. This can tear us apart from the inside when it does occur. Its negative ramifications and impact are well documented.
Criticism is detrimental to all relationships. You certainly cannot expect to be everyone’s best friend or think that everyone is going to like you. I am sure you have seen relationships strained and broken because of undue criticism. If you are the one generating the criticism, odds are you will also be creating friction and distance in your relationships with others.
It is a roadblock. A critical attitude and critical words really get in the way of progress. Your personal progress, progress on the tasks you’ve been given, and the ways you and your team interact with one another. Even one individual focused on the shortcomings of others can grind a team’s progress to a halt.
When you are critical, it also hurts your relationship with God. God loves people unconditionally because that is His nature, and we are His creation. But He also calls us to live with a higher standard. “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” Psalm 145:18
Being critical not only affects the present, but it can also impact your future. Criticism can all too easily become a pattern, then a habit. It can rob you of potential advancement in your current workplace and could cost you a positive recommendation in the future.
Are you critical of others? If you’re honestly unsure, the easiest way to find out is to ask a trusted friend. It is a topic not often discussed, although it should be! It is also not something to be addressed in a group setting. Too often it is, but in my life experience, that is the least helpful and the least effective. It should be a one-to-one conversation that is always motivated by having the other person’s best interest at heart.
One final thought. If someone you work with came to mind while reading this article, prayerfully consider your course of action going forward. If you’ve realized that you are the critical one, ask God to help you speak only what is true, helpful, and necessary and to always expect and seek the best in others.
Apply the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:32
